"Fear. Where does it come from. I don't know. Suddenly it is there. And then again and again.

It is almost as if it were not something that frightened me rightly or wrongly, it is more as if fear sat within me, great and powerful, lurking ...

What is she lurking for? I don't really know, I just know that she makes me lie awake every night and causes an incredible commotion ... Yes, there is something on the outside that gives me a reason for my fear. First it is a special trip. Then it's stress in the relationship. Then a professional project.

My circles of thought get caught up in the respective "problems" (believe me, there were significantly more than those mentioned). It seems as if the fear that sits in me for no reason, so to speak, is constantly finding a new reason. And then my mind seems satisfied, because with Problem X I have every reason to be afraid. I am looking for solution mechanisms. I am dramatizing. Sometimes the problem goes away. Fear doesn't bother that much, it immediately finds problem Y, which also has a red or at least orange alert.

During this time I turn to Karoline Bruse , I have already done a chakra harmonization with her and found it very powerful. We meet at Zoom, somehow we both feel that this will probably not be fixed with another chakra session. We agree on long-term support for four weeks. During these four weeks Karoline will connect energetically with me for about 10 minutes every day. I don't know when she will do that, I live and just continue to panic as normal.

It's an experiment for both of us. Karoline has a lot of experience with energy and chakra work, only in this setting she has not yet done it.
I am a coach myself, have many tools that I can support myself and use at any time and a bit of skepticism in such intangible "hocus-pocus" work.

How good that Karoline has no hocus-pocus on her at all. I experience her as professional and at the same time warm-hearted and clear. I trust her and my impulse to turn to her.

The first aha moment comes after a few days. I have a phone call with my current fear subject and am amazed at how powerfully I stand up for myself and my wishes. I tell Karoline about it and she tells me that she connected to me at so and so o'clock and sent me a lot of strength. That was exactly during the call. Wow!

Karoline and I are sporadically in contact via Messenger for the entire four weeks. Sometimes when a new problem arises or an old hurdle that I believed to have been overcome suddenly seems to be bigger than ever before, I ask you for support. Sometimes she harmonizes the chakras, sometimes she builds an energetic force field around me, sometimes she goes on a shamanic journey, sometimes a power animal appears. She tells me about the images that come to her and I see if and how they resonate in me.

For example, there is always this inexplicable fear of being alone, of not belonging, which has actually been with me all my life. Karoline sees a woman sitting in the street in rags and being treated like a leper. Karoline hears the word "single". Can I do anything with that? She asks me? I can. My father (born in 1913) was illegitimate and later exposed to Nazi persecution.

Then there are also funny and powerful images. Like the little man in my head, whom Karoline met when I harmonized my chakras for the very first time and who was really busy writing all the time. He calls out to Karoline that he has no time, he has to write everything down so that he doesn't miss anything. She negotiates with him to trust more and just do nothing.

Towards the end of our four weeks I suddenly feel an irrepressible desire to write in me. I've been through a lot and now it's ripe to be written down. Since I have already forgotten the picture at the time and don't see any connection with my current fears, I don't tell Karoline anything about it. The next time she told me, unsuspectingly, she had met the little man again, he sat like a little Buddha between mountains of books and told her that he was finished now, that he had everything together. ... magical!

The fear escapes from my system so slowly, barely noticeably. My old thinking is still jumping on the problems. Karoline says that's normal. That would be the power of habit. It is now important to stay on the ball with the newly gained trust. Sometimes I lie awake at night. I'm still good at brooding. But the feeling of being at the mercy of an overwhelming existential fear is gone. On the contrary, I feel a deep calm lake in me, there is still a slight ripple on its surface, sometimes a whipped wave, but no comparison to the tsunamis that knocked me down before.

In return, I now and then receive baseless joy tsunamis and an irrepressible longing for myself.

Now I can even be with the fear when it reappears. A bit like when I'm annoyed by an old friend whose love I never doubt. I feel that the fear is there, but I don't believe it anymore. And with that I can consciously go into feeling. And then it flows through me and dissolves again.

She has lost her power over me.

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Thank you dear Karoline for your wonderful company. I felt like we were going for a walk in the woods together. We look in the same direction, walk part of the way at eye level with one another. See the beauty of nature and life. I go my way alone and yet you are with me, take my hand when I need it, gently support me with warmth of the heart, empathy and an incredible presence. "